Bitch I know Kung Fu!
by PrincessCarly28
Summary: *Holds a banana threateningly at you* Oh crap, this is a summary i'm typing. Anywho, this is what happens when you mix Fairy Tail with a bunch of memes and randomness. WHAT?You don't wanna read it? Are..are you serous bro? Are you cereal on my milk? I don't even...just read the random crack fic.


"Kill...all of the titans!" Erza yelled.

"Such attack. Much titan. Wow."

"Y U NO YUNO?" Natsu pointed at Gasai Yuno holding Yuki hostage.

Yuno looked at them and glared.

Gray laughed." Lol Nope nope nope nope nope. Time to pack up and leave shit town and move to fuckthat ville."

"Hey you guys I just found a book called death note." Levy said going to pick it up.

"JOHNSON NOOOO!"

" BLAAAHHH." Gajeel said blowing up the book.

"Looks like the deathnote is... *puts on sunglasses* dead notes."

"AWWWWWWW YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH."

Natsu turned to Lucy.

"Lucy?! When he hell did you get in that costume?"

"NYANNYANNYANNYANYANANANANANYANNYANNYAN!" Lucy said dancing around Natsu.

"Chocolate rain, chocolate rain!" Jellal sang as he turned away from the mic.

"Jellal get off the stage! Can't you see I'm spinning my leek and singing Levan Polkka!?" Mirajaine said.

"GRAY-SAMA!" Juvia said scaring him.

"Ah..what?"

"I'm a banana!" Juvia said happily.

"No you're not your a water mage.."

"I'm a banana!" She said derpily.

"What happened to your clothes?"

"I'M A BANANA!" She said in a banana costume.

Gray facepalmed.

"I'M A BANANA! I'M A BANANA. LOOK AT ME MOVE!"

"What the hell is goin on? This is Madness.." Droy said.

Laxus walked up to him. He looked at Bixslow, Freed and Evergreen as they nodded approval.

Laxus smirked. "Madness? This is not madness...THIS IS SPARTA!" He said kicking Droy down a random hole.

"No..this is Patrick." Patrick said.

"GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE." Laxus said falcon punching Patrick into oblivion.

"C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!" Freed said.

"My leg! My leg." A random person said.

"Yo dawg we heard you like parodies, so we put a parody of your parody into a parody and gave you an even bigger parody."

"THE PRICE OF SPELLING ERRORS IN THIS IS TOO DAMN HIGH."

"I like juice." Natsu stated.

"That's what he said." Lucy laughed.

"SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!"

"I'm a kitty cat cat I'm a kitty cat cat. Meow moew. Meow I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Trolololololololol hahaha. Lololololol HAHAHAA."

"DO THE NUMA NUMA!"

"NO CARAMELLDANSEN!"

"NO GANGNUM STYLE!"

"WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?!"

"THE FOX SAYS SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"ponpon way way .."

Erza kicked Lucy. "NEVER SING THAT SONG AGAIN."

"WHAT CAN I SING? THECAMPFIRE SONG SONG?"

"No.."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"CON LOS TERRORITAS..TAS...TA..TA..TA..TA….TATATA..NOW DO THE HARLEM SHA-"

Levy kicked Gajeel. "FUCK NO!"

"HOLY SHIT...THAT KICK WAS OVER 9000!"

Natsu striped into a towel. "Ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man..sadly he is not me. Look up, look down WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU. I'M ON A MOTHERFLIPPING HORSE!"

"Natsu keep calm and carry on." Lucy said.

"I don't wanna keep calm and carry the flip on!"

"Hey...Juvia can I see that mission for a sec."

"Ah sure Gray-sama."

"Hm..I thought that would be big news."

"You thought what would be big news?"

"Well there seems to a certain thornological piece. A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avian variety."

"Whatchu talkin bout Willis-..I mean Gray."

"JUVIA DON'T!" Levy warned.

Gray threw the paper away and started dancing. "BIRD BIRD BIRD BUH BIRDS DA WORD A WITH A BIRD BIRD BIRD BUH BIRDS THE WORD-"

"Ok...bird is the word."

Happy tapped Natsu's shoulder.

"What's up Happy?"

"Natsu...I AM YOUR FATHER!"

"NOOOOOOOOO."

"Lucy adjusted and read her results."Happy...YOUARE NOT THE FATHER!"

"OHHHHHHHHHHH."

"*tries to make a cake.* *Makes eggs*" Jellal says. He puts on his shades. Close Enough.

Erza says"*Makes cake like a baus*"

Jellal glares.

"What! You mad bro? ...Aw he mad." Erza laughed.

"ERZA! DO IT FOR THE VINE!" Lucy said recording her on camera.

"I'm not doin this shit."

"Do it for the vine!"

"I'm not doin it."

"DO IT FOR THE VINE!"

"I SAID I'M NOT MOTHERFLIPPIN DOING THIS GODDAMN SHIT!" Erza said slicing the camera.

RAGEQUIT!

"LEVEL UP!" Natsu said.

Lucy got up off the floor as Natsu and Gray stared.

"Do she got a booty?" Gray asked Natsu.

Natsu smiled. "SHE DOOOOOO."

"Scooby dooby doo, where the fuck are you? We've got some shit to do now. Come on you little piece of shit where are you..." Levy glared searching for him.

"Oh yeah AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Mirajaine screamed.

Wendy started to twerk for no reason.

"AW SIEG HELL NO!"

"DONT DROP THAT DURKA DURK." Natsu sang.

"AYYY DONT DROP THAT DURKA DURK!" Gray joined in.

Lucy dropped a bottle labeled Durka Durk on the ground. "What are you gonna do now huh?"

"#yolo #swag. Oh shit I'm about to eat some ice cream. Better tweet, tumblr and facebook this shit before I take a selfie.

"KAYABA!"

"ANIMA!"

"LEEDLELEEDLELEEDLELEE!"

"little little Italy?"

"I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST HAT NOONE EVER WAS!"

"LUCY I CHOOSE YOU. Shut Gray the hell up."

"AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!"

"Oh shit its pedobear! But were all like eighteen so...wait HIDE WENDY AND ROMEO!"

"HIDE YO KIDS HIDE YO WIFE! HE'S SNATCHIN UP ALL YO PEOPLE'S!" Gajeel said.

"I...I don't have a wife or kids Gajeel..."

"Well fuck you too...SITTIN ON THE TOILET, SITTIN ON THE TOILET, SITTIN ON THE TOILET."

"EVERYONE QUICKLY, GET IN THIS WARDROBE! WE GO TO NARNIA!" Makarov shouted.

"Lol nope."

"HOGWARTS!"

"MAYBE!"

"TO THE HUNGER GAMES!"

"Lol nope nope nope. Lets all go to NOPENOPENOPELAND."

"TO HOMESTUCK WE GO THEN!" Makarov shouted as everyone wore their homestuck shirts.

"You guys I found this weird site full of stories about us..." Lucy said on her laptop.

"Do you see a lot of Rated T and M stuff?"

"Yup."

"Things that say ONE-SHOT!"

Lucy nodded,

"Stupid stories with lots of OC'S AND OOC'S?"

She nodded again.

"NALU, GRUVIA, JERZA AND GALE?"

"Yes..."

"WELCOME TO HE FUCKED UP WORLD OF FANFICTION!" Natsu said.

"BADGERS BADGERS BADGERS BADGERS!"

"Charlie bit my fing-"

"FORGET ABOUT FUCKING CHARLIE!" Gray yelled at Levy.

"Put a banana in your earrrr." Lucy sang.

Juvia grinned and put on a banana suit again much to Gray's horror.

"DUN...DUN...DUNNNNN." Erza said looking dramatically at the screen.

Natsu awkwardly looked at Lucy.

Lucy looked at him in horror. Oh god no...He's going to sing!

"IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLYTIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLYTIME. WHERE HE AT? WHERE HE AT? WHERE HE AT? WHERE HE AT? NOW THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO! THERE HE GO ! PEANUT BUTTER JJJJELLY!"

"What is love?" Jellal sang as Gray and Levy bobbed heir heads to the beat.

Erza went up to them.

"BABY DON'T HURT ME! DON'T HURT ME..NO MORE!" They all said.

"Hey witch doctor! Give us the magic word!" Natsu said.

"You go...um...ooh eeh ooh ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang."

"ALL RIGHT! OOH EEH OOH AH AH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BAN-" Natsu said as Lucy shushed him.

"Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you..."

Natsu gulped.

"EVERYONE GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE! NOW!" He shouted as everyone panicked.

Lucy smirked.

"I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL!" Lucy sang riding on a wrecking balk and rampaging through the guild.

"WHAT THE FUUUUU- *BOOM*"

Natsu glared at Lucy.

"You had one job Lucy..and what do you do.."

"Nothing?"

"No..YOU EXPLODE THE FREAKING GUILD!"

"I'm sorry!"

"It's to late to apologizeeee it's to laaaaaate."

"BABY COME BACK! YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON ME!"

"I AM!"

"Ohh...um...IT'S RAININ MEN! HALLELUYAH IT'S RAININ MEN! AND MEN!"

"Wtf?" Looking at the clear sky.

They both looked at Laxus.

"What the hell are you doin to Happy?"

"HIS NAME IS KEYBOARD CAT!" Laxus said making happy play the piano as he sniffled.

"ME GUSTA." Lucy said flipping a table.

"Everyone forgot about me" Lisanna snifled in the corner.

FOREVER ALONE==========^

"I DONT CARE. I LOVE IT!" The fangirls screamed.

"I'M A BOSS ASS BITCH BITCH BITCH!" Mirajaine screamed randomly.

"FALCON PUNCH!" Gray said punching Natsu.

"Oh..it hurts." Natsu said.

"Sorry was I too hard for you to handle?" Gray smirked helping him up. Lucy desperately wanted to scream Thats what they said.

"h-HA. GAAAAAAYYYY."

"SHUT UP MOHERFUCKER!" Natsu yelled.

"Hmm, not bad." Lucy said making a face of approval.

"PASTAAAAAA!" Juvia yelled.

"DEMOCRACY!" Jellal said.

"THANKS OBAMA!"

"SUGOI! KAWAII AS FUCK! CHICKEN MCNUGGETS AND SHIT DESU!"

"IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAA-" Erza sang.

"BAKA DESU! THE STORY WAS PUBLISHED ON A SATURDAY!" Laxus said.

"Speaking of stories...I guess we're done and goodbye …..before Chuck Norris gets here and fucks shit up." Natsu said.

"Holy crap we gotta go then. Bye." Lucy said.

* * *

Lol I was bored when I wrote this. It's so random I know, but this was so fun to write xD. By the way I was thinking. Who would survive longer in the wild? Bear Grylls or Chuck Norris? Both?...

Meh. Bye bye. Oh and feel free to tell me if I missed any memes.


End file.
